Breaking the Cycle: When Women of Color in Power Replicate Harm

Jul 13

3 min read

There’s a conversation many of us are afraid to have out loud—especially those of us who are women of color in leadership.

It’s this:

In too many organizations, we’ve seen women of color in power reward loyalty over potential—especially from other women of color. We’ve seen brilliance rejected because it felt like competition. We’ve seen courage mistaken for disloyalty. And we’ve seen harm disguised as “mentorship” that only rewards those who play by invisible rules.

This isn’t just personal—it’s structural.

We’ve inherited systems of scarcity, where there’s only one seat at the table for someone who looks like us. So we protect it. Sometimes fiercely. Sometimes fearfully.

But here’s the truth:

You don’t have to become what you fought so hard to survive.

You don’t have to repeat the harm just because it’s all you were shown.

True leadership is not about building a loyal inner circle that protects your ego.

It’s about building a culture that protects everyone’s dignity, brilliance, and belonging—even if that means making space for people who challenge you.

When Leadership Becomes Gatekeeping

If you’ve been mentored by a woman of color leader, you might have experienced one of two extremes:

The fierce champion, who lifts as she climbs and opens every door she can.
Or the cautious gatekeeper, who makes it clear: loyalty is expected, challenge is not.

Sometimes we don’t call it harm—because it doesn’t look like what we experienced from others. But if we’re using power to exclude, diminish, or erase, we’re participating in the very thing we say we want to dismantle.

Let’s be real: many of us were raised in systems where being the “only one” came with status, protection, and pressure. We learned to compete, not collaborate. We learned to survive, not support.

But we are no longer in survival mode.

We are in a position to transform.

Be Honest: Are You Recreating the Same Barriers?

Ask yourself:

Am I mentoring only those who flatter me or follow me?
Do I feel threatened by other powerful women of color?
Have I confused challenge with disrespect?
Am I replicating patterns of exclusion I once resented?

These are hard questions—but brave leadership asks them.

If the answer to any of these is yes—good. That’s the doorway to growth. Because you have the rare opportunity to break the cycle.

Because the goal is not just to be the only one in the room. The goal is to make rooms where many of us can thrive—fully, freely, without fear.

Leadership as Liberation, Not Imitation

The systems many of us rose through were not designed for our thriving—they rewarded assimilation, competition, silence, and isolation.

Now that we’re in decision-making roles, we have two choices:

Repeat those systems, but with us at the top,
Or transform them into spaces of equity, truth-telling, and intergenerational support.

If you say you want to lift up women of color, but only those who won’t outshine or disagree with you—you’re not leading for liberation.

You’re just maintaining the hierarchy with a different face.

And we didn’t come here to blend in.

We came to build better.

What You Can Do Now (That Changes Everything)

Redefine Loyalty Loyalty isn’t silence. Loyalty is mutual respect. It’s someone telling you the truth, even when it’s uncomfortable.
Decenter Yourself (Sometimes) Leadership isn’t always about being the smartest or most visible. Sometimes it’s about making room for someone else’s brilliance without shrinking or fearing your own.
Mentor Across Difference Don’t just mentor the mini-versions of you. Mentor the bold, the quiet, the challenging, the different. Let that diversity sharpen you, not scare you.
Interrupt Your Patterns Ask trusted colleagues: “Have you ever seen me favor certain people or punish dissent?” If you’re brave enough to ask, be brave enough to hear the answer.

The Legacy You Leave

Leadership is a relay, not a throne.

And if your leadership ends with only one seat at the table for women of color—just with a different name on the plaque—then we haven’t really made progress.

Let’s build systems that multiply, not manage, power.

Let’s lead with the courage to say: “I will not repeat what harmed me.”

Because our liberation is collective, or it’s not liberation at all.

#WomenOfColorInLeadership #LiberatoryLeadership #MentorshipMatters #InclusiveLeadership #BreakTheCycle #SustainableLeadership #OrganizationalChange #LeadershipCulture #LeadWithIntegrity #CollectiveLiberation